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Our Children Must Conform!!! To What? (5316 hits)

I was in my car, sitting at a traffic light, when two young African American boys crossed the street. They were between the ages of 12 and 14. Both wore Afros, causing me to flash back to the 60’s and 70’s, when the “Bush” hairstyle represented a King and Queen through out every black neighborhood in America and around the world. It was all about being cool, expressing a posture of pride and reassurance.

Then my eyes gazed downward to the rest of their anatomy. The T-shirts were fine. White and colorfully designed images with the latest Rapp Artists. But, then we get to the pants. Blue Jean, opened at the front, pulled down to about 3 inches above the knee. The underwear were white with red poke-a-dots all over. I got the impression that he has a flair for outward expression.
As you would image, my response was to shake my head from side to side and go…tisk…tisk…tisk, in disappointment.

Of course I went through the mental anguish of saying to myself, “If they only would apply themselves they could have so much more in life”. I’d go through the basics of food, clothing and shelter. Having a nice car, a beautiful wife and children. Going to the beach every summer and holiday. Taking a cruise once a year with close friends. Having a great job you love and retirement guaranteed, benefits in 20 to 30 years.

Then it hit me! How many of us have those things anymore and what job provides that kind of security? How many friends do we know that are out of work, some with Masters and PhD’s. They are out of the career fields driving taxicabs and flipping burgers at a fast food store.

I then asked myself… What are we asking our children to conform to living in a culture of mass confusion?

Posted By: Dr. Okpara Nosakhere
Thursday, July 1st 2010 at 4:37PM
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We are asking them to conform to the manufactures' intent on 'How to Wear Pants'.

Their idea of conformity comes from the need to go to prison. In prison; pants are worn this way to show the "beauty" of the inmate to other interested inmates.

In the 60s we wore afros and had to braid them overnight or wear Sly Caps to cover them so we would not be mistaken for a sweet male. We did not wear earings because one ear ring indicated we might be a sweet male. Now males wear Two earings. The paganChristian male is a clay man, made up.

Adults and especially mothers need to Conform and make males, Men: and not sweet males.

Any American can achieve a decent, law abiding, and conforming success driven life.

Case in Point:

Our President Baraka Hussein Obama in the 60's was probably laughed at for his light skin and demonized by the likes of farakhan---
his mother was on food stamps----
his father was 'absent' from the household-----
and he grew up in densely populated and poor Indonesia.

Today that MAN is Commander in Chief of The United States of America........

Thursday, July 1st 2010 at 6:14PM
robert powell
Civilization. Walking around with your drawers showing simply is the opposite. We can't ensure they're going to be successful in their careers and marriages — we can only HOPE for that. It is our responsibility, however, to prepare them to join a civilized world. Many will respond that we should let them "be who they be", and to that I disrespectfully call bull****! Many of us were left to our own competence and look where we are collectively.

I was watching Wimbledon yesterday when I heard the announcer speak on the British's "manners" and/or "civility". And I thought then how different we are. No one EVER compliments us on anything CLOSE to having proper manners OR civility. Quite contrarily its closer to apes.

It's not all about "the Benjamins" … HONOR should have a lot to do with how others view us, too.
Thursday, July 1st 2010 at 6:22PM
Craig Amos
I remember one brother came to register himself for school and had his pants sagging. I happen to know the guy's parents. The first thing I told him to do before coming into my office was to pull up his pants! He asked why, and then said he liked saggin ' his pants. I gave him a sheet of paper from the copy machine and told him to spell the word saggin'. Then I told him to write the word saggin ' backwards.

For those of you who don't know it yet the word S-A-G-G-I-N spelled backwards is N-I-G-G-A-S. I told him the origin of that look was from prison the guys wore their pants low when they were 'spoken for'. The other reason their pants looked like that was they were not allowed to have belts because prisoners were likely to try to commit suicide. And, saggin' pants prevents you from running.

We as young Black people have to be the ones to effect change. The media has made a mockery of the Black American. Even our brothers and sisters from Africa don't take us seriously. Something as simple as pulling up your pants and standing with your head held high could make the biggest difference in the world's perception of us. It is time to do right by ourselves. We need to love and embrace each other. No one is going to do that for us.

We have allowed not only the media, but the government and the world to portray us as a 'sub-culture. ' They have stripped our culture down to the point where the image of Black people is perpetuated as rappers, athletes, drug users, expensive tennis shoes, expensive cars, expensive TVs, cell phones and not investing in homes for our families. We are so much more. We need to teach our children that we can be more than rappers and athletes. We can be the owners of these sports teams. We can be the CEO's of OUR fortune 500 companies. We need to believe in literacy.

Thursday, July 1st 2010 at 8:16PM
Siebra Muhammad
Damn, littleSiebra, that was the best post EVER! (Take off the apostrophe after CEO then capitalize Fortune and you score a perfect 100! Just sayin'.) Kudos!
Thursday, July 1st 2010 at 8:58PM
Craig Amos
You ain't gotta lie Craig (LOL)! I'm just playing. Thank you!

Hey, I guess this 'frightened deleter' is good for something after all!!!
Thursday, July 1st 2010 at 9:07PM
Siebra Muhammad
Craig around. Five letters, one "g", G.
Friday, July 2nd 2010 at 12:42AM
Craig Amos
Dr. Okpara Nosakhere; I normally do not comment to a poster but please forgive me:

MR. CRAIG AMOS--- civilizations' antithesis----Loooooooolllllll

I totally agree also, that this is littleSiebra's best post EVER!

and to think she finally followed my lead; with Historical Scholarship--

Friday, July 2nd 2010 at 8:46AM
robert powell
No no no, Robert, you got it all wrong. I follow my own lead; with REAL KNOWLEDGE...

And that's the double truth, Ruth!

Friday, July 2nd 2010 at 10:54AM
Siebra Muhammad
I have just gotten back from a 3 Day Conference on American Youth.

I saw, heard, ate and prayed with Thousands of Youth, male and female

NOT ONE BOOTY(male/female) showing-----
NOT ONE mf, bit..h, out of their mouths.

A story came out of Conference, " a lady stated that she had 10 children born, 5 died before reaching conformity."

For me, American Children are conforming to Success, to education, to responsibility and are ready to mature into the leadership of our Nation.

and those that do not; may die without reaching mature conformity....

Monday, July 5th 2010 at 10:08AM
robert powell
True conformity is based on an individual buying into a particular cultural standard. A person must know and understand the value of submitting to a behavior pattern that is beneficial to the masses of people in which he or she wants to be associated with.

Our children don't see any value placed on human behavior. The behavioral strata for survival in America is very broad and diverse.Its boundaries are vague, arbitrary and lacking in reasoning or purpose. As some biblical parables go, we should wait like sheep for the Good Shepherd to lead us through the promise land of our lives. But, we all know what eventually happens, the sheep are lead to the slaughter.

If anything, a shepherd or guide, should teach others how to be shepherds of their own lives. This was once the role and responsibility of our elders in the village/communities. We must install this position of knowledge and wisdom again. The greatest and noblest way to affect change is through caring.
I intentionally said caring instead of love. Because love is a feeling, but caring evokes action. It is deeds or actions, that speak louder than words.
The focus, first, is to create a foundation/culture for a child to conform.
Friday, July 9th 2010 at 3:16AM
Dr. Okpara Nosakhere
Now that my "N UP"...just like drugs, Rap and wearing pants like this was fine until the White children began to try and become us it all became a No,No...remember teh being called "*****" was fine for saying until the blacks started owning it and then teh Whites and the blacks youth were no longer fighting and killing each other over this word not long aftet the movie BarberShop...we can not use this word any more and guess how we found this out....YES, we learned this over the media, right. GROW UP...Oh now picture Michael Jackson in tha tsong where he pushes his hat down and lowers teh fron of his pants...wel that my young people was what did our parents in just like those lowered pants do today...

now I wonder how long before the steps contest will be tied with lets say drugs ?!? ("I" am not smiling)

Just stoped in to give you a hint on how we are taught to turn against each other so well...but not in the past...they knew what would happen if they steped across that color line...(smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
Okpara, if I say to you racial profile what would you say????

Any of you know how the males in at least south Philly wore their jeans(and what wearing them L-O-W like this to put emphsis on and you held your hands in a certain way to farther express this part of the body ???LOOOOOOL??? in the 50s when tha whole country followed the Philly lead? looooooooooool? Anyone old enough to know what the women were called in teh earyl 60s who wore their skirts and dresses just above the knees and good god, when bemuda shorts came out and women stoped wearing pedal pushers and even worst whenhot pants came from England to America....

every female in this country was called a _____________________you fill in the blank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we as a people survived these and this too will pass. (smile)

Oh a hint of the low pants and the use of the hand as you walked was so in style because you have seen Michael Jackson do tis the way it was done back then many times...and just like Jackson's MOON WALK was from the PAST so was this...again what is old is new again...ask you grand parents about how our parents went through what you are going through today. (smile)

Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM
I wonder if the governor of Arizona can use so much of what she gets off the net like this to help her prove just how right she is and how wrong the president is about her Bill 1070 ?!? (smile)
Thursday, April 10th 2014 at 6:47PM

Our Children Must Conform!!! To What?


.....Dr. Okpara Nosakhere...thank you

I almost forgot how much I appreciated your Intelligence and Courage.....

....your blog actually....made siebra and I agree....THAT was POWER

I pray you are well Dr. Okpara Nosakhere

Monday, April 13th 2020 at 8:28PM
robert powell
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